Looking for the light switch...

(My_Deepest_Darkness_by_MeemzZz)
"Talking" with dear friends today I finally was inspired and could shape my thoughts into something more or less understandable... First I wanted to write a story (you know where to find my stories if you look at my last attempt at writing a poem...) but then I decided to keep the idea for later... actually funny as it seems I haven't got time to concentrate on writing a story...
The plot would be more or less a youg man trapped into a woman's soul looking for her dark room.
Of course it's a love story! What else would you expect from me??? (Actually I didn't write so many of them... and they're all quite weird, but this is not the point... oh well no... there's always a love "trace" somehow... what's a story without love anyway?).
Where was I? Oh yes! The young man is trapped into her soul because he wants to help her!
You know I figured it out today... Everyone has a dark room inside. This is where misery and unhappiness hide themselves so that we cannot find them. The only way to get rid of them is to find the place and switch the light on and they just disappear like those monster in our childhood memories! Of course people are different and so is the way they deal with their dark rooms. There are those lucky ones, who are always able to find the room quickly and easily change the light bulb... Then there are those, who love their dark rooms so much they keep it hidden and break some other lightbulb as well just to be sure (but they are quite creepy if you know what I mean... I have nothing against creepy people but I would not like to meet one in a lonely railwaystation on a dark night all by myself...). Let's see, there are also those, who know where the dark room is, but can't remember which kind of lightbulb they need, so they must go there to check first and somehow always manage to postpone the job! (Thanks Cutie for the idea!) Lastly there are those, who know they have a dark room somewhere and struggle to find it invain... these are the saddest people on earth. Unlucky souls they are. Maybe a bit blind too and mainly women because let's face the truth: sometimes we are really crap at directions... we have a huge problem with our "right" and our "left"... and you can very well imagine that a soul is a place where you can get lost quite easily! It's like those big cities with so many junctions and streets, alleys... and they change very often! Besides you can't buy a map of a soul, can you? Mmmmm
Let's get back...
So this girl belongs to the last group. One day she becomes one of the saddest persons in this world. It happens so quickly and without warning. She tries to look for it on her own (this damned room) but then she gets tired. Exhausted to the point that she can't find the strength to go on and gives up.
The young man offers to help her! He can't bear the sight of her soul gradually disappearing, because that's what's happening. He knows very well he hasn't got much time and that it's a very dangerous thing to do, but love is so stup... ehm I mean strong at times and so... he jumps in (mmm... this needs to be reviewed... jumping into a soul? Come on! I'll let you know when I find something more suitable...)
By the way, before some "know-it-all" makes a comment: every fool knows that no one can "jump" into someone else's soul and help them searching for something like a dark room... but this is a story. It's MY story. There is nothing rational because it's ME... I am writing it! :-)
So... however...
After a lot of adventures, where he sees quite a lot of things, meets many strange characters but especially loses directions (even if he's a man), he finds himself at the centre of her heart and learns the truth... and goes on... he never changes his mind till the end. He tries everything he can to get to this room in time and when he ends up there at last he has the biggest surprise ever!!! You would never ever imagine such a thing is possible!
So, the story goes on just after he discovers...
As if I would tell you!!!
I probably am going to write it, so I am not spoiling it...
Well... if you wish... in the meantime you could write your own ending if you're not too busy with your soul maintenance! :)
Just a quick advice: better to check all the rooms and keep a light torch close at hand in case of an emergency!
I stole Binjip's idea from his post but this scene is a love scene and I need a love scene in my story! ;)

Spitting fire... to be continued!

Brisingr

"A secret shared is no secret at all."
"Anger is a poison. You must purge it from your mind or else it will corrupt your better nature."
These, together with the many other quotes I have already mentioned, make of this book a wise adventure, which reminds that of Frodo and his quest to destroy the ring!
It took me long to read this book because I had so many things keeping my mind busy that I couldn't really concentrate on the story.
When I finished it I was surprised! I thought this was the last book of the trilogy, but it's no trilogy at all and there's a fourth book coming! Well, so I can't tell you much apart from the fact that after some fights, a teaching session and a new weapon... Eragon, Saphira and their friends will have to endure one more challenge: fighting and destroying Galbatorix.
(I have to say I must fight a smile everytime I read this name, because it reminds me of Asterix... I can't really see him as the scary and bad king, who must be defeated! I mean... he's no Dark Lord Sauron...).
So... you and I will have to wait for the fourth book!
We had French, Italian and English... so next in line: Die italienischen Schuhe .

A Kiss...

(Kiss Me, So Sweetly. by lorelix04 on Deviantart)

A Kiss
Melting like cold snowflakes so slow,
these soft lips are hungry and looking for more.
A new taste sensation makes passion flow
through the veins heading straight for the core.
What is the true sound of a kiss?
A Christmas tinkling of a new sweetness
that the heart wraps in pure bliss?
Or is it the crackling of the fire
chasing away the bitter friend coldness?
A kiss feeds the soul with long forgotten desire.

Katia :-)

Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.

Benjamin Johnson

Die erste FEMINISTIN im Vatikan...

Deutscher Film, deutscher Eintrag. Erstmal entschuldige ich mich für die Fehler, aber ich habe um dieser Uhrzeit wirklich keine Lust mit dem Online Wörterbuch zu streiten!

Also... dieser Film ist sehr schön. Ohne Zweifel.

Ich bin keine Feministin, aber wenn man solche Szenen sieht oder wenn man bedenkt wie Frauen damals behandelt wurden... dann ist es wirklich nicht schwer zu verstehen warum einige Frauen so sehr um die Gleichberechtigung gekämpft haben und immer noch kämpfen.

Also Männer, die sich damals so wie heute (einige gibt es noch... leider) als höhere Wesen bezeichnet haben, machen in diesem Film keine so gute Figur. Eine Frau, die klüger ist als sie, schafft es alle zu täuschen und wird sogar Papst. Ts ts... wo waren die kluge Köpfchen???

Ja, was ist dann das Problem? Das Problem ist das übliche bei uns Frauen... wir verlieben uns... und kaum verlieben wir uns, fangen eben die Probleme an!!!

Wie hat sie Sabine so schön bezeichnet? Eine wahre Liebesgeschichte nicht wie die von Romeo und Julia. Recht hat sie! Hier gibt es nicht nur Liebe, sondern auch Respekt, Hingabe, Akzeptanz... Liebe mit Kopf könnten wir sie einfach nennen. Nicht nur Sex gesteuerte Leidenschaft.

Und Fred Feuerstein als Papst? Naja man muss sich gewöhnen aber es geht schon!

Sabine hat mich heute darauf aufmerksam gemacht: es gab auch Berlusconi's Vorgänger damals (vielleicht sogar ein Vorfahr?) Anastasius??? Der Name erinnert mich übrigens an Schneewittchens Stiefschwester!!! ;-)

Scherze beiseite... ich kann diesen Film wirklich empfehlen! Man hat mir gesagt das Buch soll noch schöner sein.

Ich denke diese hier ist eine sehr aktuelle Geschichte nicht nur über Gleichberechtigung der Frauen, aber auch über die Korruption des Vatikans (und ich bezweifle stark, dass man heutzutage aufgehört hat...). Ein wunder das die Kirche kein Wirbel gemacht hat...

Writing(s) on the wall... or in a journal... - I sometimes don't understand the wor(l)d) -.

(Picture My Heartbits by Armed with a Pen on Deviantart)

*Short foreword: remember when I once wrote "finding a virgin is more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack" - funny post that one... ok. Well finding people with sense of humour is quite as difficult... you'll see why. Because it's not about that really, but... anyway... oh I don't know.* :o)

"A pen, you see, you hold it between your thumb and your index finger. No, wait, you hold it however you want. After that, it's not hard, you don't even think about it. Your hands don't exist anymore. The important thing happens elsewhere. No, this won't do, it's still too pretty. You're not being asked to come up with something pretty, you know. No one gives a damn about pretty. There are children's drawings and glossy magazines for that. So put on your mittens, little genius, little empty shell, yes, go on, put them on, I tell you, and maybe at last you'll see, you'll draw an almost perfect failed circle."
(Anna Gavalda)

Margaret's post about writing is awesome... by the way...

Writing. It can be a therapy, a hobby, a job... it's simply life.

It's an easy task... sometimes it's a difficult task. The hand is only the tool.

Needless to say, I love writing. And above all I love it the traditional way: with a pen on a paper... It's the feeling of every little tiny thought, flowing through the arms, reaching the fingers getting together at last on "the" white island. There. Real and not evanescent any more. Existing. Alive. Like the sound of the pen scratching the paper when you're angry or nervous... or smoothly caressing it if writing sweet words... or urgently bouncing on it if reporting some exciting news!

Sometimes I open one of my old journals (I've been writing journals since the age of eight) and before I start to read, I only need a quick glance at the writing to know the mood I was in when I wrote those words.

Venting problems, telling news, disclose feelings... hide secrets. Many a purpose in keeping a journal. I used to "talk" to it. As if it were a person. I always started with "Hello" or "Hi". I even wrote things like "How are YOU doing? I'm actually feeling good. You want to know why? There you go..." and so on.

Together with my real and imaginary friends, it was the most important presence in my life.

Thank God I think it never occurred to me, but realizing that someone has secretly read your diary is like being abused.

And it's also very bad when someone laughs at it. Lately I've been told: "You are still keeping a journal? Are you kidding me? I thought it was teenager stuff.".

I didn't answer to that right away. I was so baffled and (sorry about that) pissed off... I mentally counted to 7,5 and said: "Yeah right. Well I forgot to mention that I'm a bit slow in growth. I've got that rare disease you know... I look like an adult but I'm underdeveloped... Maybe I'll catch up with you some day sooner or later, but don't wait for me..."

Not even a smile...

It's official... some people don't know the meaning of "sense of humour"... :-)

Fall meets winter... call summer on the other line!

(Fall meets winter by Vethonwen on Deviantart)

First of all I'd like to point out that I lack precious sleeping hours and my flow of blood is redder than usual because there's still wine in my veins from yesterday's Törggelen.

Well... I woke up this morning and saw snow on the hills. Mind you it hasn't reached down here yet. BUT it won't take long I know.

GOOD!

I can't stand autumn this year because I am unusually gloomy these days (although yesterday I played my clown role magnificently... almost deserving a golden globe!)... so I will greet the snow as a most welcomed friend!

(First I've got to get new winter tyres asap! Otherwise I'll be stuck home for days!!!)

So what is so great about winter?

It's snowboard season! Actually I can't snowboard any more or at least I was advised against any more accidents on the snow... But well I had my splendid 10 years on the board so... I'll keep the good memories and turn the page!

Mmmmm... What else... mmmm... let me see.

Snow is fun! It cheers up the mood! Oh I know it's cold, but what about all those colourful scarves? All the funny warm gloves? The cute pom pom beanies? The hot steaming thick chocolate?

I must say that I am really looking forward to it!

But then, of course, there are those "terribly" images of summer vacation sites on TV. You know I don't know how they manage, but you can rest assured that when winter's approaching you get to watch all those wonderful places like Australia, Fiji, California, Florida, Hawaii (which reminds of someone who's about to go there!!!), Thailand, Maledives... shall I go on?

Well the other night I was sitting on the couch, wearing my baby blue training pants, purple sweatshirt and warm red snowman-telling-me-it's-time-for-you-to-kiss-me anti-slip-socks... sipping a hot chocolate, feeling really comfortable... and then they aired some kind of documentary on the most beautiful beaches in the world.

I picked up the phone... dialled summer's number to complain and beg it to come back! Well I reached the voice mail... "Hello, this is Summer. I'm not in right now. I'm having a road trip in the southern hemisphere. Leave a message and I'll get back to you on the 21st of June at the latest" Beep.

Damn.

;-)))

OH-MY-GOD!

Uuups I did it... again?

(Secritary found on this blog... credits there!)

Ups... I did it!

I updated my résumé, my CV... whatever you want to call it.

It took me long... not to update it. It took me long to decide to do it. Weeeelll...

I haven't sent it yet. Not yet.

I will though.

I think...

It's not that I don't like my job any more. I quite love it! I love the company. I love my bosses. I love my colleagues. You know it's the first time that I update my application documents without feeling sick of my job. Without that healthy need of change...

OK... I could earn more... I even deserve more if you think of it, but the money is not an issue if you like the place where you're working... mmmmmmMMMmmmm...

NEVERTHELESS (I love this word... I love the pronunciation, the sound of it!). I quite like HOWEVER too... o_O so I will use both if you don't mind... (I am always writing so fast that I am worried to make a lot of mistakes, but then... this is a blog, not a school book...). So however... nevertheless...

It's the feeling I have inside. The feeling that if I don't do it now, if I don't try at least... it will be too late.

My heart tells me I need to go. To relocate. To move. To go. To do what I've been dreaming for so long... Ireland? UK? Canada? USA? It doesn't matter really. It's just it feels right. How can I explain this without you all thinking I'm nuts?

There's no way.

Whatever.

There is this economic situation. It's bothering really. I should think like the rest of us that there is no point sending my stuff abroad! There are not enough jobs for the people there, so how can I just hope that someone reads mine?

But then...

What do I have to lose? Really? Honestly now. I have been looking for excuses all these years now. So... I should stop now. If it doesn't happen, it's OK. But at least I can say I tried...

(Psssst... some day there will be those nice white-dressed men knocking at my door holding one of those nice white jackets for me... I'm sure... :-D)

Do you think I'm crazy? Because I've heard it a couple of times these days when I gingerly illustrated my plans...

So really what? Am I? What do you think?

Well I guess the only way to answer that for myself is just the one: give it a try...

Will you cross your fingers for me? That I will take the right decision in the end?

Music...

Sooo... next in line a post about books... I am getting bored of my stuff... aren't you? (OK don't answer that one... I don't really want to know!) ;-)